We’ve all been there at least once. That one relationship we all say, “I wish that never happened.” It’s true it can be very hard on you emotionally, maybe even physically. However, that relationship was good.
From the first date with a girl I never took out on a second date, to the long relationship that ended terribly, or even the “almost” relationship that never made it to being “Facebook Official.” I have said it was all a waste of time. This is not the way I should have been thinking because it kept me from seeing the beauty in all of this. But what did I really have to gain? I mean, a first date you didn’t end up liking that much? That was just a waste of time and money. A long relationship? A HUGE waste of time and money. That’s all I thought it was. I didn’t think any of this was a good thing until more recently when I started thinking more outside the box.
So what has been my problem? Self-deception. I was always thinking inside the box. I thought of all these relationships as a waste of time, rather than a wonderful learning experience. This kept me from growing into a better person. I was stuck at the same level after each failed attempt on finding “the one.” So what did I do? I did some digging to figure it out. Keep in mind, I’m not going to write about all of the girls I have ever taken on a date. I will pick a few that had the biggest message for me to learn. Frankly I don’t remember every girl I have been on a date with.
The death of a long-term relationship…. This is one of the hardest things to go through. Especially if you were the one still holding on. I was miserable for a long time, I couldn’t get out of this trap. What was the trap? Thinking there is only one single girl out there for you. No one could ever compare right? Well after that hard break up I dated more girls. I found many girls I would want to be in a relationship with. There are so many amazing girls in the world, and there are so many that I have gotten along with very well. I’m still single though, so I haven’t quite gotten the right fit yet. The moral of the story? Don’t beat yourself up over a break up. You think you won’t find another person that could ever compare. Truth is, you will. It will be even better than before! You will wonder why you stayed in that relationship for so long.
The girl that makes you a plan B…. Now we all know you shouldn’t ever keep your eggs in one basket until things get more serious. I started dating a girl who later told me there was another guy she was currently dating. We weren’t in a relationship so I guess it was fine. I told myself I would prove to her how amazing I was. That way she would pick me right? NOPE. Quite the opposite really. Go on dates. Laugh and have fun! Don’t let things get too serious unless you know it’s what you both want. I knew that we wouldn’t work out, but I chased it anyways. The right time will come, be patient.
Something about a label…. Just because you kiss, hold hands, go on dates all the time, and see their family all the time doesn’t mean you are boyfriend and girlfriend. Logically, it makes sense. However, today’s society has destroyed the definition of being in a relationship. We will truly care about someone and do everything people in relationships do, except put a label on it. Why are we so afraid of commitment? I came across this situation. I was sure this was it. I thought I was going to marry this girl. But in a moment’s notice she decided to change her mind. Don’t be afraid of commitment. Be brave and hold on. If it’s obvious it’s not going to work out leave it at that. Always communicate. You can avoid much heartache with communication. This way one person won’t fall when the other had no plans of catching them.
Every girl deserves your respect…. We have all been on a date we didn’t feel like going on. This does not mean should should treat her poorly. Why should she get less respect from all of the other girls? She didn’t mean to not be your perfect girl. She may also have some very amazing qualities that you couldn’t see because you are too busy dwelling on how much you don’t want to be there. Get to know every date you have. Treat them with the highest respect. It takes courage for a girl to go out with a guy she doesn’t know. Even if you don’t have plans to take her out again, still walk her to the door and thank her for spending the evening with you. Trust me, she probably had better things to do. So be a gentleman. Always be a gentleman.
If more people looked up…. I have never gone out with someone who loved life more than this girl. As she looked into the night sky she said, “This is so beautiful. People would be a lot happier if they looked up every once in a while.” This is completely true. We get too caught up with school, work, and electronics to really take a step back and realize how beautiful life is. Take a moment with yourself, find somewhere quiet. I want you to close your eyes, put your hand on your heart and breathe deeply. Do you feel that? You’re alive. Being alive is a miracle! Don’t take life for granted. I think this girl is worthy of a second date.
You have something to learn from everyone. These people are crossing your path for a reason! Try to find that reason instead of dwelling in your own sorrow.
-Stay Fashionably Manly